Literary Hype: Frozen Dessert Bungalow

XXXI Days of Poetry - Day the Twenty-fifth

Frozen Dessert Bungalow

Background:
As many of you know, for several years I have been trying to acquire the color Purple. (No, not the book or the movie or the King's Island amusement park ride, the actual color.) As you can imagine, the hoops one must jump through just to be in the running for such a thing are seemingly endless.

(There are very few Colors in the world, and the owners of said Colors take a very keen interest in who can join their little club, not to mention that when it comes to Purple, the powerful old-world families that control Red and Blue are even more interested than normal.)

ANYweasel, the following (true!) tale comes from my early days of Purple pursuit, when I was just trying to get my foot in the door. Before I could get an audience with the owner(s?) of Purple, I had to gain the approval of the Gatekeepers. And the closest way to a Gatekeeper was through another exclusive club. When I got there the sign on the door read:

"Henson's Peacekeeping & Frozen Dessert Bungalow"

You'd think selling ice cream would be a strange preparation for putting down violent uprisings in the streets, but actually it was the other way around. (That's another story for another day.)

Before I could join Henson's club, I had to impress the two oldest members, gatekeepers in their own right. (Many gatekeepers when you want to get somewhere important.)

They gave their names as Mr. Huck and Mr. Finn, which are obviously fake, but now that I know their real names I will NOT be sharing them with the likes of you! (But I digress.)

You should have seen these guys! Crotchety doesn't even begin to cover it. Best I can recall, our conversation went like this:

Mr. Finn:
Why do you want to join Henson's Peacekeeping and Frozen Dessert Bungalow? Why should we let you in?

Mr. Huck:
And be quick about it - we don't have all day!

Me:
Well......
Served six years in the Foreign Legion
I handle knives with ease
I've got 9 Kung Fu black belts
(I even speak chimpanzeeze)

Mr. Finn:
Interesting.....

Me:
I lived in the Himalayas
Raised me some mountain goats.
I taught them 5-part harmony
(They did the sound track to Hope Floats)

Mr. Finn and Mr. Huck (both):
Why do you want to work here?
We really want to know
If it's to maim and torture
You're gonna have to go

[Inexplicable drum and saxophone solo from some other room]

Me:
I'm eager to get started

Mr. Finn and Mr. Huck (both):
Forgive us if we're guarded

Me:
Don't leave me brokenhearted....
You're the most sensational
Transformational
Confrontational
Purple-loving nation-al

Mr. Finn and Mr. Huck
(and apparently others who were listening in the other room):
We've heard enough: welcome to our bungalowwwwwww!

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[Note: if the poem didn't suggest...a certain song in your mind, please check this out, then re-read. I PROMISE it will be worth your time. -H]