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Missing Beat


The betrayal of your lies burns my throat
As I travel down the rabbit-hole I choke
I know the problem's mine, that I can't accept white lies
But I'm struggling with how I'm s'posed to cope

I tend to see the world in black and white
That's why they always say "he MUST be right"
They say I won't admit, when I'm wrong, but they don't get
That False and True refract a different Light

I don't know how to say the way I feel
I think in ways that most don't think is real
I know I'm off the arc of the world's sustaining mark
It's a gaping wound that never wants to heal

If people saw the world the way I do
They'd understand, or they'd be crazy too
There's nothing more frustrating than my not communicating
Just what the world is now supposed to do. 

I have a policy of not explaining poetry, but there is something going on in this one that overwhelms the subject matter (which fairly obviously starts out after a fight with someone and turns into solipsistic whining on my part; big surprise there). I wrote it quick as can be, and except for maybe the fourth stanza, it doesn't feel rushed or hurried. What fascinated me so much is that in Lines 1, 2 and 4 of each stanza there clearly (to me) is a beat missing where there are no words.  I don't know how to explain it. I mean, why aren't there just three beats in each line?  I don't know.  I can't give you the answer. I just KNOW there are four, and I (for some reason) did not fill the fourth one with words. In some ways the poem almost reads like an Emo Limerick (at least in structure), but it doesn't sound that way at all.  I wish I could record myself reading it so you could hear it, but maybe it will come across that way to you, too. Lines 1, 2 and 4 are all like da-Da-da-da   da-Da-da-da   da-Da-da MISSING BEAT. In fact, you could even argue it's missing a beat at a quarter!  Now, Line 3 in each stanza has the four beats, though they read differently: da-Da-da-da-da-da-da   da-da-Da-da-da-da-da-da, and then back to Line 4, which reads like 1 and 2.  I don't know why this is, and I don't why I can "hear" the silence, even if there weren't any words there, and I don't know why it fascinates me way more than the poem's words itself, but perhaps in a way this obsession with the Missing Beat of the meter explains what I was trying to say better than the poem ever could. Selah.

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1 comment:

Alexis-Rueal said...

It sounds like lines 1, 2 and 4 are iambic pentameter. Line 3 is iambic heptameter w/ a truncated iamb at the end to give you the 13th beat. It works very well. You work very well w/ rhythm and meter. That's what I have always enjoyed about your work. :-)



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