Floor Monsters

  

Don't want to alarm you,
Or cause you undue fright;
Don't want you waking terrified and
Screaming in the night.
But there are some hard truths of which
You need to be aware:
It's time you learned the secret world
That's going on down there.


Sorry to be the one
To break this awful news. 
(And I understand if
Your urge is to gulp booze.)
There's no easy way
To speak the awful truth;
But I will do my best
To handle it with 'couth. 


Down below your bed
(and couch and dresser too), 
Exists a secret clan; 
Half-feral and half-schmoo.
While staying out of sight, 
At night they have their run.
These creatures of the Steppe;
(yes, that was an awful pun).


I wish I could do more, 
To put your mind at ease;
To gently calm your nerves, 
And steady your weak knees.
But Floor Monsters exist, 
Whether you believe or not.
So now that you've been warned, 
Try hard to not get caught!

[I call this my "channeling Shel Silverstein, if he was really tired and had just been in a three-car accident.  Seriously, he makes it look so easy.  In my defense, I suck. I swear I didn't make the connection (in my own mind) between the poem and the picture until I looked for it, and suddenly I realized what the poem is really about.]


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